The Smiley Faces are watching me.

1. Right in front of me: a large Smiley Face is peeking out from behind the computer screen. All I can see is the top of its yellow, bulbous head, and its black, vacant eyes – it's staring directly at me.

2. File separator to my right: there is a postcard which reads "Don't worry, be happy" with a Smiley Face stuck to the outside. It too is ogling me to my soul, but more than that, it's telling me not to worry… which at this point, isn't really an option.

3. Picture frame to my left: it holds a picture of a little league baseball team. There are four Smiley Faces (one for each corner) arranged at a slight angle, as if to convey empathy or concern; their troublesome smiley expressions surveying my every move.

4. Behind me: a calendar with a picture of a family standing in front of an obscure body of water. There are two woman, two children, a baby, and a Smiley Face stuck over what was once a man's head. The caption reads: Christina, Smiley, Daniel, Noelle and William - 2004 (the word Smiley has been cut out and pasted over the man's name). That Smiley Face, too, is boring a hole through the back of my skull with its beady little eyes.

Obviously, that's exactly what the man was doing to the woman who sits here, hence the need for decapitation via Smiley Face.

It's 5:15. I'm going home.