The secretaries are fucking freaking out. Apparently, this weekend the apocalypse is coming to the building and rendering all locks on office doors and all computers completely useless for a time just long enough to completely fuck everything up, unless proper protocol is followed today.

These necessary formalities include, changing out all the keys to the offices in the building, and turning off all the power-strips to the partners and secretaries computers. We received new keys to the offices this morning, and they took the "old" keys away from us; though, perilously enough, the old locks still remain... (*dundundun...*)

To give you some back ground:
1. Secretaries have keys to all partners' offices.
2. Partner's never read e-mails concerning administrative tasks.
3. Partner's rely on their secretaries to do all administrative tasks, and read their e-mails for them.
4. Secretaries are very invested in partners' state of happiness and therefore will go fall into spontaneous epileptic fits and start speaking in tongues if there is the possibility that things won't go right for the partner if they are out of the office.
5. It is Friday night and all partners leave at around 3pm.
6. Partners lock their doors when they leave.

With all of these points added up we get a shit storm of frenzied horror sprinting around the halls because the secretaries realize, that with the locked doors, and their lack of keys to fit those doors, there are computers that are still on, via power-cords, inside the partners offices just sitting there, waiting to be deep fried in whatever Terminator-style-electrical-storm that is going to rain down hellfire on this building this weekend… and no one knows what to fucking do!!

I've been attempting to take a nap under my desk for the last 15 minutes and have been frequently awakened by the clucking of panic in the air. I don't really care what happens to the computers… they could all start playing non-stop-internet-porn on Monday, lose all office related documents, and start spewing endless pages of Rosie O'Donnell's blog simultaneously out of all of the printers in the office, and that would just make things more interesting for me.