Damn it.
A perfectly good excuse was wasted this morning, and now it has to bow its sad little pathetic head and move to the back of the "excuse line," where it will ask fellow excuses for change in order to buy a coffee, and wait its turn until it can be used again. SO. Alright, I admit, I DID stay up until an unreasonable hour this morning doing… whatever, and I DID call in at 8:45am in order see if I could finagle a little more sleeping time: "Hi. Sweet Human Recourses Woman ("SHRW")? Yes, I have the worst allergies (or fill in blank) and my eyes are watering all over the place, I was just going to come in a little bit late so I can compose myself."

Mind you of course, I do not have allergies. But very often I come down with all sorts of ailments, which cause me to be over an hour or two late; when in reality, I don't think I've been sick in over a year. These wonder-causations of tardiness include, but are not limited to: migraine, the flu (that is going around office), the cold (that is going around office) – in fact when cold season comes up, I become very excited because I can use it to my discretion – bladder infection (my favorite), food poisoning (usually from sushi restaurant by my house), allergies (during the spring and fall), car trouble (very rarely, because it sounds like an excuse), PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease – only in extreme emergencies), pink eye (that one's awesome), had to drive friend to airport (usually during the holidays), alarm didn't go off (sparingly, there's only so many times, before logically, you would simply buy a new alarm), … but I digress:

SHRW: "Oh, whew, sure that’s fine, I was worried, because we have a lot for you today."
Me: "Um… is 11:00 okay?"
SHRW "Oooooo *pitch unable to replicate* Um… - "
Me: "Oh… lots of work, huh? Okay, I guess I can get there by ten."
SHRW: "Oh, thanks so much, you're a lifesavor!"
Damn it.