Why is it that stupid people flock toward elevators like an extremely obese person to a chocolate chip cookie? (Yes, I've been mentioning the hefty quite frequently, and no, it's not because I'm callous, it's because I can't see past them and that annoys me; like a compact car behind an SUV, you get pissed off too, right?).

At lunch today I had to go to a different high-rise building to obtain my paycheck and ended up in the elevator with a woman in a light-blue sweatshirt with a picture of a cottage on it, forest-green sweat-pants, large (but short), blond, curly hair, and the expression of an ant eater, that lost all of its ants.

As the elevator was about to close, a woman from outside frantically yells to wait, and our little dimwit friend, accidentally pushes the close button, instead of open. Luckily, the woman running to the elevator got her hand in just in time to have it crushed as the doors closed... then, of course, they slowly opened again. At this point the "one cow short of a herd" woman says, "I always do dat, press the close inted of da open." Then the elevator starts to buzz because, obviously, it's pissed-off that someone just rammed their hand through its hole (you would be too), and the woman then says "now dats you who startid makin all dat noise, why you complainin'?" giving a good stern reprimand to the abusive and angry elevator.

I gave a polite laugh. "Heh."

The other woman holding her hand did not (though it was just as moronic of her to stick her hand into an elevator when the door is about to close, but whatevs, I've done that).

The woman finally gets off the elevator, then before my entertained little corneas, looks left, right, and a little lost, then does a spin as fantastic as a Unicorn during a snowstorm in July, and exits stage left.

Elevators = Stupid People Heaven.